Much is written about the habits which help us to be stronger versions of our self. There is plenty of good advice around nutrition, exercise as well as the best practices for our physical, mental, and emotional health. We only need to google any of these keywords and receive millions of options on how to be a stronger, healthier, and calmer person. This is the essential practice of self-care – finding that unique blend that fuels and renews us. 


I have also come to appreciate another component to self-care that is equally essential. 


Unconditional positive regard toward self. 


This is the courageous practice whereby we acknowledge, no matter what has gone right or what has gone wrong, we have done our best.  And we extend to ourself the gifts of kindness, gentleness, and love. This is not to say our efforts always yielded the desired result, nor is it a pass on issues or problems that continue to need our attention. Rather, it is simply to allow ourself to feel and know that we have indeed mattered and made a difference to ourself and others.

Over the last week working with clients, I have been asking them to make a list of all the things they have achieved this last year. This includes not just official outcomes, but also and just as important their:


  • Pivots 
  • Coping 
  • Conversations 
  • Resilience
  • Redirected goals 
  • Learnings
  • Compassion
  • Endurance


Their lists are long.  As is the case for each and every one of us, when we take the time to reflect on it. 


I invite you to make a list of your own. What have you accomplished during this wild ride called 2020?   Include everything – the highs, the lows, and all that is in between. You are the common thread that winds through it all and it is my sincere hope you embrace and celebrate all you have been and done.


How can you extend to yourself unconditional, positive regard?

Self-care is an ESSENTIAL component to be able to effectively address your difficult situations and relationships.

Join me in January 2021 for BEYOND CONFLICT!

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